Business Writing With Buzz

How a four letter word could win you new business

Mon, 07 May 2012 03:03:00 GMT

When it comes to writing B2B business development documents, it’s natural to write about your business. What happens though is that your documents end up being all about what your business knows or does, not about what your readers – your prospective clients – will gain by choosing to work with your business.

One easy way around this is to use the words ‘your’ and ‘you’.

Such everyday words are very powerful. They personalise your writing by speaking directly to your reader, making the document about them. Using ‘your’ helps you, the writer, to set out more clearly what your reader will gain by using your business, product or service, which is what your tenders, proposals, profiles or website copy are ultimately about. (Look at how many times ‘your’ has been used in this paragraph, just for example.)

Here are some examples:

Before: Smith & Smith Lawyers has 25 years’ experience in environment law.

After: Your team will be working with Smith & Smith lawyers who bring you 25 years’ environmental law experience.

Before: All our consultants are available 24/7.

After: Your team will have easy access to our consultants 24/7.

Before: We are specialists in our field.

After: You will receive advice from our specialists.

For more help with B2B copywriting, contact Rosemary Gillespie on (02) 9314 7506 or 0411 123 216 or email rosemary@proofcommunications.com.au

Tender writing 10 top tips

Mon, 07 May 2012 02:33:00 GMT

There’s no doubt tender writing can be arduous but following our top 10 tips will make the job a little easier for you.

Top tip 1: Make it about your reader (your prospective client)
Get your prospective client’s attention by focusing on them. Start as many paragraphs as possible with their name, and use ‘you’ and ‘your’ to personalise your tender.

Top tip 2: Answer the question
While it might sound obvious, it’s surprising how many people don’t answer the questions! With formal tenders, especially government tenders, it’s crucial to answer every question, even if you feel you are repeating content you’ve already provided. Many tenderers fail to do this and wonder why they are never shortlisted or selected.

Top tip 3: Try not to waffle
Keep it snappy – your prospect will be reading more than one tender or proposal. Yours will stand out if its readers don’t have to wade through lots of long-winded waffle.

Top tip 4: Make it clear what’s in it for them
Your prospective client wants to know what they will gain by selecting you – so tell them! Highlight your skills, knowledge or experience or what you propose will benefit them.

Top tip 5: Be direct
Use active voice where you can. It is more succinct and direct than the passive. The voice of a verb tells us whether the subject is doing the action (active) or whether something is being done to it (passive).

Active: We are submitting our tender. Passive: This tender is being submitted by...

Top tip 6: Avoid sweeping statements
Only make statements such as ‘we are the leading/premier/fastest provider of...’ if you can back them up with proof. Media quotes, survey results, happy clients’ testimonials or award wins are good evidence.

Top tip 7: Give great examples
Use short and punchy examples to show how you make a difference to your clients. Mini case studies are great. Provide specific, factual evidence (or even testimonials) to paint a picture of how you have helped a client to save time or money, or how you devised an innovative solution to their problems.

Top tip 8: Remember – looks can kill
Poorly laid out tenders and proposals can die at the first hurdle. If yours are well laid out, they’ll be visually appealing and easy to follow. Use headings, sub-headings, photos, diagrams and white space. If you are tendering for a project, include a timetable or a project management plan.

Top tip 9: Jog their memory
If your tender or proposal is to an existing client, remind them how much you have achieved together so far, all the problems you’ve resolved, or the extra value you’ve given. Describe the benefits of continuing to use your service or product.

Top tip 10: Make it word perfect
Include time to proofread your final draft. While a word perfect tender won’t win you points alone, one with typos could cost you. Take time to check every word, and while you’re at it, check you’ve answered all the questions in the right order, and that you’ve met all the requirements for lodgement and attachments.

For help with your tender writing and proposal writing, call Rosemary on (02) 9314 7506 or 0411 123 216 or email rosemary@proofcommunications.com.au

I Just Couldn't Put It Down

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 01:46:00 GMT

How often have you said of a book, “I just couldn’t put it down”?

More than once, I bet. But have you ever said this about a business document? Unlikely. Many are more helpful to insomniacs.

Here are some useful tools to make your next business document more interesting, whether you are writing a tender, or writing a report or website copy.

Compelling words

In B2B writing, there’s nothing wrong with using words we see in adverts. Research shows that words with the most impact in advertising include ‘free’, ‘simple’, ‘easy’, ‘now’, ‘fast’, ‘quick’, ‘save’. They are also benefit-focused, which is essential in B2B writing.

If you use these words appropriately, you’ll find writing a tender or business document to be easier and faster – get the picture? For example:

“With XYZ Law, you will quickly discover how focused we are on your needs.”
“When you seek our advice, you will find it easy to access our team.”

Keep it short

Another way to keep your reader’s attention is to keep to the point. That’s why editing is so important. Why use two or three words when one will do? For example:

In order to…To
Cost effective…Profitable
State-of-the-art…Latest, advanced
At the present time…Now
With reference to…About
Make use of…Use

Avoid repetition

Try to avoid using the same words over and over. Typical words we see often in B2B writing are:

Key
Innovative
Expertise
Solution
Pain-point
Efficient/efficiency

Sell the benefits

You readers only want to know what’s in it for them. So, use strong wording that will sell the benefits they want to hear: cost savings, time savings, access to your team, value-adds, increased productivity.

Review and be honest

When you’ve written your document, read it and ask yourself:

So what?
Who cares?
What’s in it for me?

Why? Because these are the questions your clients will ask! If you don’t think you’re setting out the key benefits clearly, edit to make them sharper.

For help with writing your B2B business development documents, call Rosemary on 02 9314 7506 or 0411 123 216.

What's in it for me?

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 02:01:00 GMT

The biggest challenge for copywriters is getting a new client to explain how their products or services benefit their customers.

What copywriters usually hear about are the features of a product or service. Features are mostly factual, such as size, colour range or speed of delivery or, in the case of a services business, amount of experience and expertise, or use of technology. The trouble is, the features of your product or service are often the same as those of your competitors.

Features are important. But what is more important is what those features do for your clients. The usual example is that of a drill – it doesn’t make a hole in the wall; it helps you to quickly put up new shelves so you can display your trophies.

So that you get a clear picture of the benefits your business brings to your clients, and can differentiate your business from your competitors, imagine you are one of your clients or a prospective client. Then ask yourself:

‘What’s in it for me by choosing this supplier?’

When you put yourself in your clients’ shoes, you gain some insight into why they may want to purchase from you. Of course, you could always ask regular clients why they choose you!

With this insight you can write marketing and business development materials that describe how your clients win by choosing your product or service. By doing this, your website, brochure, flyer or tender or proposal will have client-focused, benefit-driven copy that sets it apart from your competitors.

For help writing benefit-driven, client-focused copy, contact Rosemary Gillespie on 02 9314 7506 or email rosemary@proofcommunications.com.au

Ever tried a paraprosdokian?

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 02:03:00 GMT

Perhaps you’ve tried one without realising it. You’ve certainly read a few. In fact, if you’re looking for a way to grab attention, create drama or give your readers a laugh, a paraprosdokian sentence is a useful writing and presenting technique.

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase has an unexpected twist that makes the reader or listener reinterpret the first part. For the technically minded, ‘paraprosdokian’ comes from the Greek words for ‘beyond’ and ‘expectation’.

With thanks to a lawyer friend, here are some examples:

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not sure.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

A bus is a vehicle that travels twice as fast when you run after it as it does when you are in it.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

If you would like help with your corporate copywriting, editing or proofreading, call Rosemary now on 02 9314 7506 or email rosemary@proofcommunications.com.au

EOI ROI RFT - What Does It All Mean?

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 03:42:00 GMT

If you are new to writing tenders, you''ll be bamboozled by all the abbreviations: RoI, EoI and RFT. What do they all mean, and how do you respond to each of them?

Very large tenders involve a number of stages, but most involve only stage three listed below – the RFT.

For those times where you are faced with the full evaluation process, each stage will require a different type of submission. The stages are:

1. RoI – Registration of Interest
2. EoI – Expression of Interest
3. RFT – Request for Tender
4. Interview

Stage by Stage

RoI. This stage usually applies to only very large projects and is usually only used by government or large organisations to determine the number of responses they can expect to receive when they put a major project out to tender, and who is interested in tendering.

The RoI is normally a call for potential tenderers to show their interest and broad capability to deliver the project. Generally, the RoI issuer – your potential client – wants to determine the quality of the responses, which are usually required to be short – around five to 20 pages.

The client may specify that failure to submit an RoI will preclude suppliers from submitting responses throughout the next stages of the tender, so it is important that you check if this is the case. If an RoI is not required to be submitted it might mean that new ‘players’ can make submissions in the following stages (EoI and/or RFT).

A few tips for your RoI response:

Keep to the page limit, font size and any other requirements
Think ‘high level’
Prepare a document that demonstrates quality (such as well laid out and proof read)
Submit it on time and in the format required

Eol. Here, the client will give more details about the project than in the RoI and will usually outline the type of contract you will be expected to sign. Often the EoI stage is also a page-limited document which requests no marketing materials be included.

Apart from being selected to proceed to the next stage of the process (the RFT), an EoI presents you with several other opportunities:

Gaining an understanding of the larger scope of the project
Determining what the client is really asking for
Establishing how well the client has considered the project (and opportunities to value add)
Developing your strategy and ‘win themes’
What type of contract is offered (if any)
As the respondents are usually published, it gives you a clear idea of who is ‘in the game’.

The tips above for the RoI are generally applicable to the EoI stage as well.

RFT. This is the most important document you will submit. In the Request for Tender (RFT) the client will give you much more information about the project. Indeed, the project brief may have changed since the EoI.

Remember that clients want the best possible responses to their RFTs, so if something is not clear to you, use the query process. This is your opportunity to clarify what they want – and to keep asking until it is clear.

Tips for success:

Check for ‘Mandatory’ and ‘Evaluation’criteria – include responses to ALL in your submission
Complete ALL required schedules
Consider your strategy – are you able to provide ‘value add’ or optional extras
Tailor your personnel ‘pen pictures’ and previous experience to be relevant to the project
Prepare a stand-out, graphic-designed document using InDesign
Include graphics, graphs, easy-to-read tables
Avoid ‘padding’ with irrelevant or superfluous materials
Submit on time, in the format(s) required

Often there is a ‘murky’ evaluation criteria of ‘general quality and consistency’. So make sure your tender is clear, concise and consistent. Proofreading is a must as it will highlight any factual inconsistencies as well as typos. You may be given the opportunity to submit a ‘non-complying’ submission. These are only allowed to be submitted with a complying tender. Non-complying tenders are not usually well regarded, but it could be your unique opportunity to be successful.

The Interview. Usually there will be a number of highly-regarded tenders. To help decide who wins the work, the client will invite you and your competitors in for an interview or presentation. This is a great opportunity for the ‘personal touch’ and to build rapport with your client.

A few tips:

Ask questions about the interview and presentation
Prepare first-class materials – including any ‘leave behinds’
Stick to the time allotted
Have a backup plan in case an important team member cannot present
Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse (ask a public speaking coach to help)
Get in there and shine

For help with your tender writing, call Rosemary Gillespie at Proof Communications on 02 9314 7506 or 0411 123 216.

The Mating Game - The Tender Process

Tue, 23 Aug 2011 03:08:00 GMT

Tendering is all about finding a great match. Businesses and governments want to ensure they engage a supplier who meets (or exceeds) all of their requirements – and they will usually have many suitors.

You, as the potential and successful suitor, need to evaluate if you should respond to the tender opportunity and, if so, ensure that your proposal will be the most favourably evaluated.

First - Check Your Eligibility

There are usually a swag of tender documents, especially if your prospective client is a government organisation. The one to read first is the Request for Tender (RFT). This outlines the scope of services the client is seeking and their selection criteria – among other important information.

All government RFTs and those of many public and private companies will include the contract you will be expected to sign if you are successful. With government RFTs, this is usually called the Draft Deed of Agreement. It is vital you read this carefully to check you can accept all the terms.

Ask yourself: Are the terms and conditions of the contract acceptable to you? Are they commercially fair?

If not, consider your options. There will usually be a form for you to complete to confirm your compliance with each contract clause. If you are not comfortable with a clause, this form is your opportunity to suggest an alternative. Remember, however, government organisations are more comfortable with businesses that comply with a Draft Deed of Agreement in its entirety.

Now is the time for you to be brutally honest about your ability to undertake the project:

Do you want to work for this client? Have you heard good reports about them? Can you demonstrate that you meet all of the selection criteria or a large part– with additional bonuses?

If you are ticking all of these boxes, get set to start.

If not, consider another response strategy. One is to put together a team in which your role might be the Principal Consultant or a Sub-Consultant. This can be a winning strategy.

Tick Off the Selection Criteria

Clients include selection criteria so they can measure your capabilities. They usually include:

General – such as how you comply with the Draft Agreement and your risk profile

Technical – such as your demonstrated past experience, ability to perform the requirements, and others, such as your commitment to environmental sustainability and OH&S
Commercial – such as your organisation and its financial capacity, pricing and insurances

Formal tenders and government tenders will be assessed by a selection panel. To be successful, you must clearly demonstrate how your organisation meets all of the criteria.

Keep the list of the criteria handy when you write your response. It will remind you of what they are and to incorporate them into every section of your document.

By doing this, you will make it easy for the selection panel to ‘tick off’ your compliance and easily evaluate your ability to meet the selection criteria.

You might also consider including any qualities in addition to the identified selection criteria – but be careful that they have a direct relationship to the project or client’s overall business.

One final note: assume nothing. The selection panel cannot evaluate your proposal on what you consider to be ‘general knowledge’ or ‘individual relationships’. You should include this in your proposal as it will – at the very least – facilitate the evaluation process.

Response In…

Once you’ve lodged your tender, you are now in the evaluation period.

The selection panel is responsible for evaluating all the responses. Members may be employees of the client, independent experts or a combination of both. This process can take many weeks as it may involve a number of meetings of the selection panel and interviews with tenderers. Be prepared to respond to queries and / or present to the panel during this time. Scores are adjusted – and re-adjusted - during this process.

Finally, at the end of the evaluation process, the (re-) evaluated scores are put together and given a final evaluation. The Chair of the selection panel will provide a report and a recommendation and follow due process to enable the winning tenderer to be accepted.

If At First You Don’t Succeed…

Businesses and government organisations that issue RFTs want good responses – and have their eyes on future opportunities. If you were unsuccessful with your response, then the RFT may outline a debriefing process.

This is your opportunity to meet the client and hear first-hand about your tender’s strengths and weaknesses – and how you can improve your response for the next opportunity.

For more help with writing tender, ring Rosemary Gillespie on 02 9314 7506 or 0411 123 216.

What Do They Want? Asking Questions During the Tender Process

Mon, 22 Aug 2011 05:32:00 GMT

Once you've read all the Request for Tender (RFT) supplied by your prospective client, the chances are that you will have many questions.

Sometimes your prospective client will be open to your inquiries as this helps them to correct any omissions and / or errors in their RFTs, clarify the conditions of tendering or refine the scope of services. This was precisely the case with a large Commonwealth Government tender we assisted a client with recently.

Asking questions reduces the risk of you making too many assumptions about what the client wants. When you do this, you risk the worst case scenario of misunderstanding the client’s needs.

Larger organisations and all government bodies are also very keen on ‘complying tenders’. So, if you are unclear about any questions asked in the RFT or the tender process, ask for clarification. Otherwise, your tender may not fully comply and you could be evaluated as “a non-complying tender”. This means your tender will not be considered, even after all your hard work.

Asking questions – and ensuring that your tender responds properly to the client’s questions – ultimately ensures that your considerable investment in preparing a response is not wasted, and that yours is deemed to be a “complying tender”.

Who Do I Talk To?
RFTs include details of a contact person to whom you can direct your questions. The client wants to track all queries and to provide considered and prompt responses – and ‘one gateway’ is the management process that ensures that enquiries are answered. Ultimately this may ensure that the tender process is not corrupt.

It is vitally important that you contact only the nominated person so you cannot be eliminated from the process for soliciting.

Pertinent Questions
If you have a question, ask it! If the client’s response prompts other questions, ask them!

All government organisations and some private and public ones will periodically circulate questions asked by prospective tenderers with answers to all registered tenderers. That way, you can see the concerns and queries of other tenderers.

The Earlier The Better
The earlier you ask your questions – the better! This gives you the maximum amount of time to prepare your tender. Check the RFT document – it will often provide you with a ‘cut off’ date for asking questions – after this, you are on your own. Don’t risk being left in the dark with a big question dangling – unanswered.

Think Outside The Square
When preparing your response to the RFT, you might want to consider asking questions about the project to stakeholders other than the client, and these may be mentioned in the RFT.

Early engagement with these stakeholders will give you a real sense of who you will be working with / against in delivering the project. Asking open questions to identified stakeholders could just give your tender the winning edge of understanding.

I Need More Time!
If you want to ask for an extension of time for lodging your response, don’t wait until the day before the tender is due. In all but the most unusual of circumstances, your request will be denied.

If, however, the client’s responses to tenderer’s questions change the scope or services required, ask for an extension and outline the reasons why. If the client considers that the majority of respondents do require more time, then a request for a reasonable response will often be favourably considered.

For more help with tender writing, contact Rosemary Gillespie on 02 9314 7506 or 0411 123 216.

Gnats and Nerds: How to Write for Everyone

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 22:29:00 GMT

For every reader who spends thirty minutes pouring over every word of your document, there are five (maybe more) who won’t get past the first page.

Reading styles affect how much information people take in
Why is that? Because people have different reading styles. Some people (let’s call them nerds) love detail – the more the better. For others, if a document doesn’t give them the key points at first glance, they will be off looking at something else. Given the length of their attention span, we’ll call them gnats.

Unfortunately for us writers, a lot of business people are gnats, just through lack of time. Give a CEO a 50 page tome and watch her glance at the first page, then toss it in the bin. However, there are exceptions. People in technical or procurement roles are paid to get into the detail, and will scrutinise every word of your proposal, brochure or report.

Which means that when you have to write a business document, you have a dilemma – how to engage both the nerds and the gnats?

Different documents for different readers
One answer is don’t. You can provide a summary document (as many companies do for their annual reports) that alerts gnats to all the key points they need to know, but keeps them well away from the withholding tax calculations.

However, that is not always possible. Tenders, for example, are likely to be read by both senior management (probably gnats) and technical or procurement teams (almost certainly nerds). They will look at your document from very different perspectives.

Give skim readers sign posts
Given your technical people will be happy to load up your document with as much detail as they can, the biggest issue you, the writer, face is ensuring the gnats don’t get swamped.

Readers who like to skim need sign-posts to direct them to the information that is most important to them. Some writing and graphic elements that work for gnats include:

Executive summaries: always put the most important information or message first.
Headings and subheadings: a reader should be able to get a sense of the content just from reading the headings (look at this article as an example). Then they can dive into anything of interest.
Pullout boxes that highlight key facts
Graphs and charts, ideally with key points highlighted
Photographs to demonstrate features or show the team
Pull quotes: quotes that illustrate your key messages help to engage
Bullet points and lists: have a look at our previous article on using these effectively
Lots of white space: given skim readers are more visual, white space will help them absorb your content more easily.

With a few of these tricks up your sleeve, you will leave a great impression with that CEO gnat as well as their team of nerds.

Tell Me A Story: How To Colour Your Writing

Tue, 28 Jun 2011 07:19:00 GMT

In How the Big Bad Wolf Can Improve Your Business Writing, we talked about telling stories in your business communications. This time we look how you can illustrate, or bring colour, to your writing.

What is good story book without pictures? What would Winnie the Pooh be without EH Shepherd, Alice in Wonderland without Tenniel? These classic children’s book illustrators visually interpreted those stories in a way that has made an indelible mark on how they have been read and understood by generations of children.

We don’t generally get the paint box out when we are writing business communications, but bringing a bit of colour to your pieces can really improve your reader’s engagement level.

And we don’t mean letting your designer loose with the colour palette. You can illustrate the points you want to make, or the story you are telling, just through your writing.

Some ideas for bringing colour to your communications include:

Stories
Observations
Anecdotes
Topical
Statistics
Examples
Case studies
Quotes
Humour (used with care – nothing smutty or inflammatory, thanks)

These elements make your writing more personal, engaging and interesting, allowing readers to engage at more emotional level. Use a smattering in the next piece you have to write.

How the Big Bad Wolf Can Improve Your Business Writing

Thu, 31 Mar 2011 03:57:00 GMT

Have you ever read a story to a three-year old? As you put on your best big bad wolf voice and growl, “I’ll huff, and I’ll puff and I’ll BLOW your house down!”, their eyes grow like saucers and they lean in closer, desperate to find out what happens next.

Watching your listener, or reader, become totally captivated by your words is, unfortunately, something we seldom experience in the business world. But wouldn’t it be wonderful if your readers became similarly wrapped up in the story you are telling?

In sales and marketing communications we tend to focus on our key sales messages: we are the biggest; we are the smartest; we are the best value. We forget that humans love stories and are most engaged when reading something that takes us on an emotional journey.

How do we achieve that in our writing? With a narrative arc. A story that has a narrative arc is, put simply, one with a clear beginning, middle and end.

Importantly, though, something actually has to happen. As readers, we want action, adventure and excitement. And we want the story to end in a different place to where it began.
To tell a story in your business writing, your narrative arc should generally include:

A hook (see the big bad wolf up there?): something that grabs the reader’s attention. This can be an anecdote, a statistic, an observation, something topical, or even something funny.

A problem (readers find business writing boring): what is the issue under discussion that you can help your readers solve? What is the impact for readers? Think about ways to phrase this that will create emotional resonance.

A solution (a narrative arc): what is the solution to the problem? This is where you can include your sales messages, but think about how you can weave them in to your story in a way that creates action, excitement and emotion. Usually, showing is more effective than telling. So instead of saying “We have 500 qualified people across Australia”, let those people become part of your story. You could quote them, survey them, include pictures of them, use them in a case study. Let their qualifications and experience shine through in what they say – it will be much more convincing.

A resolution (emotionally connected readers). What happens at the end of the story? Does everyone live happily ever after? Ideally, you want to leave your readers feeling positive about your company and your people with a clear idea of what they can do next.

Introducing a narrative arc helps you to find the emotion in the story. And that will help you connect with your reader. Your story will resonate and your reader will start to respond to your piece in a more emotional way: “Yes! I have that problem”; “That sounds like me”; “I can see that working in my situation”; “These people seem great, I’d be able to work with them.”

All good story books have pictures, right? In Tell Me A Story: How to Add Colour to Your Writing, we explore how you can illustrate your writing. z.

How many pigs? How checking your facts can save your bacon

Mon, 28 Feb 2011 04:17:00 GMT

When The Morning Bulletin, Rockhampton, reported 30,000 pigs had been swept away in the recent Queensland floods, did either the reporter or editor stop to consider what a huge number that was? Clearly not. The farmer had actually told the newspaper that he had lost 30 sows and pigs!

When Media Watch and the weekend newspapers reported the error, no doubt there were a few giggles. While the truth can get in the way of a good story, failing to check your facts in business writing could be a plain embarrassing, if not a recipe for disaster.

Using over-inflated statistics, false claims or, simply, incorrect statements makes you appear, at best, unreliable, at worst, stupid. Readers will question your credibility and capability if they spot inconsistencies or errors in your writing.

Quoting people can also be risky. Generally, we are not aiming for John Pilger-style exposés when writing business documents. Misquoting someone, or referring to a quote they are unhappy with, can cause offense and seriously damage relationships.

Check – twice!
Of course, the internet is your friend when it comes to fact checking and is the easiest place to look if you are unsure of something. But it is important that your reference sites are reputable and you understand the limitations of some sources. Wikipedia, for example, although a fantastic resource, can be updated by anyone. Its articles are not necessarily written by academics or qualified experts. It is worth cross-checking any information with another source.

Quotes and references
If your document quotes people, call them to check they are happy. To really cover your back, get them to email their permission so you have a record in case of dispute further down the track.

When you want to refer to a statistic or quote someone from a public source, it is a good idea to provide a reference. Not only is it polite to reference other peoples’ work, it also provides substance and credibility to your own piece. Most online guides on how to reference are for an academic audience, but the University of Sydney’s guide [http://writingworkshop.edtec.unsw.edu.au/quote.html] is pretty user-friendly.

Take these simple steps to get your facts right and you’ll avoid the potential for public humiliation that The Morning Bulletin reporter received from Media Watch, not to mention the weekend papers!

Which word? Picking the right one every time

Mon, 28 Feb 2011 03:53:00 GMT

It’s a rainy Tuesday and your deadline for an important tender is fast approaching. You’re doing the final proofread and everything is looking good… When, suddenly, it glares up from the page. A word that can trip up the most experienced writer: ‘affect’. The doubts creep in. Is it right? Are you sure it shouldn’t be ‘effect’?

You are not alone if you are sometimes stuck by doubts as to when and how to use some of the following words. Even the experts get caught out and need to check the rules. But don’t worry. We have got some simple ways to remember your ‘affect’ from your ‘effect’ and your ‘which’ from your ’that’.

Which/that
Which and that are commonly used interchangeably, but they actually do different jobs. "That" defines something, while "which" gives extra information about it, usually in a clause enclosed by commas:

This is the cake that Mary made.
This cake, which Mary made, is delicious.

You can delete ‘that’ from a sentence and it will still be grammatical (this is the cake Mary made) and this can be a good way to edit your writing. But a sentence using ‘which’ won’t make sense without it.

Affect/effect
It’s one of the most difficult to get right, but you’ll be OK if you remember ‘effect’ is usually a noun and ‘affect’ is always a verb.

She was greatly affected (verb) by the latest news. Smoking will affect (verb) your health.

Take care of your personal effects (noun). The effect (noun) it had was amazing.

The only exception is when we write in a formal style. Then we sometimes use ‘effect’ as a verb meaning ‘to carry out’ or ‘to cause to happen’:

The lawyer effected (verb) a great result. We hope to effect (verb) a change soon.

It’s/its
When do you use an apostrophe for ‘it’ plus ‘s’? It is intuitive to think it is when you use ‘it’ possessively as you do for ‘Mary’s cake’ or ‘Martin’s cheese’. But you’d be wrong. The possessive form of it does not include an apostrophe:

The cat is eating its fish.

The only time you use an apostrophe is when you want to shorten ‘it is’ or ‘it has’:

It’s a fat cat. It’s been a while since we met.

Advice/advise, practice/practise
Advice is a noun, and advise is a verb, just as practice is a noun and practise is a verb.

Take her advice (noun). She runs a large legal practice (noun).
I advise (verb) you to keep quiet. I will practise (verb) every day.

If you’ve got any others, let me know.

It's All Greek to Me... International Lessons in Business Communications

Thu, 24 Feb 2011 00:15:00 GMT

I’ve talked before about the need to choose your words oh-so-carefully in business communications, and nowhere is that process more complex than in international sales and marketing. We’ve all heard the hilarious anecdotes about translation errors made when English-speaking marketers try to take their campaigns global – hilarious, that is, unless you’re the person responsible – and the beauty of these cautionary tales is that they’re often made by multinationals: household names that can afford solid product research and really have no excuses for making this kind of mistake.

Some of the more famous examples:

Coca Cola’s first translation into Chinese was ‘ko-ko-ken-la’… or, in a particular Chinese dialect, ‘bite the wax tadpole’. Researchers found a better alternative amongst the 40,000 Chinese characters available to them in the closer phonetic rendering ‘ko-kou-ko-le’; fortuitously, this translates roughly to ‘happiness in the mouth’.
Nor is their competition immune. Pepsi’s ‘Come alive with the Pepsi Generation’ campaign promised Taiwanese-speaking consumers that Pepsi would ‘bring your ancestors back from the dead’.
Swedish furniture giant IKEA named a desk FARTFULL. Enough said.
American Motors tried to project a strong, masculine, heroic image by naming its new car the ‘Matador’. For Puerto Rican consumers, this translated to ‘killer’, which was particularly unfortunate in view of the country’s badly maintained roads and high road toll.

Yes, it’s all fun and games when it’s someone else’s neck on the chopping block. But let’s put aside the comic blunders of the world’s multinationals for a moment because your job – using English to communicate with a largely English-speaking market – presents its own challenges. All too often, there is a big difference between ‘communicating’ and ‘making your meaning understood’.

The study of communication and meaning is called semiotics, which looks at how signs and symbols (including words) combine to convey messages. To cut a long story short, the way words work – or rather, how effectively they communicate your intended meaning – is largely dependent on context, including physical barriers like language, and cultural and psychological factors, such as the upbringing and values of the target. The beauty of the English language is that it is so delightfully nuanced but this brings with it an ugly truth: there’s no guarantee that everyone in your target group will take from your business communications the meaning you intended. Ask anyone who has ever issued a party invitation – a value-laden word like ‘casual’ used to describe your dress code means very different things in Maroochydore than in Melbourne!

So the rules for clear business communications are:

Refine your message: work out exactly what it is you want to say before saying it
Think about your target market: age, culture, level of education, language barriers etc
Look at the word options (synonyms) available to you: we’ve talked about this before but, to paraphrase CS Lewis’s famous piece of writing advice, don’t use ‘infinitely’ when ‘very’ will do or you’ll have nothing left to use when you want to talk about something really infinite. And avoid value-laden words where possible because, simply put, not everybody shares your values
Don’t forget context: the format of your message (press release, shareholder report, tender, invitation, email) and the environment you’re using them (social, political, cultural, etc).

So to conclude: don’t think you’re immune to translation problems just because you work only in English, or even just in one English-speaking market (‘fanny pack’, anyone?) because understanding relies on so much more than merely a shared dialect.

And here’s a piece of free advice, courtesy of Proof Communications: if you’re ever toasting colleagues in Japan over a friendly glass of sake, don’t say ‘cin cin’, the Italian for ‘cheers’. It means ‘small penis’ in Japanese. Offence might well be taken…

For help with your communications, contact Rosemary on 02 9314 7506 or 0411 123 216 or email rosemary@proofcommunications.com.au

Front-end strategies for leveraged solutions in your business communiqués. (Or: learn to cut the cr_p and say what you mean.)

Thu, 24 Feb 2011 00:31:00 GMT

Anyone who missed the recent election must have been hiding under the proverbial rock, or willfully avoiding it altogether. If the latter is the case, we at Proof Communications sympathise because at no other point in the political calendar is the main purpose of communication – to impart information clearly – so casually abused, with the use of political double-talk, repetitive slogans (moving forward, anyone?) and ‘officialese’ at an apparent all time high. Or low, depending on your point of view.

You’ll know officialese when you hear it; it’s bureaucratic, hard to follow and mostly meaningless. Consider these examples from the excellent Bendable Learnings by Don Watson, author and speechwriter for former Prime Minister Paul Keating: ‘front-end strategies’, ‘leveraged solutions’, ‘the execution of deliverables’ and (our favourite) ‘synergy-related headcount reductions’, which was Nokia Siemens’ way of saying in a media release that they planned to fire a few people. It’s management-speak designed to hide either the horrible truth… or the fact that the speaker is utterly clueless about the subject. Which gives us an excellent insight into why pollies use it so much!

Officialese isn’t just a convenient tool for misinformation used by silver-tongued politicians. It’s also a disease that, if left unchecked, can spread rapidly and infect your business writing. Look at all your business communications – that’s everything from e-mail correspondence to reports and tenders – and ask yourself: is my meaning clear? Have I used industry jargon when talking to a customer who may not understand it? Am I using unnecessarily complex words when a simple, everyday alternative would work just as well?

We’ve talked about ways to make your business writing clearer in Proof Communications newsletters before but, unlike our Prime Minister’s favourite slogan, some things can bear repetition. Here’s a quick refresher on writing clearly and effectively:

1. What am I trying to say?
Identify the purpose of your communication or ‘key message’, as well as all the supporting information you need to convey.

2. Get yourself a gorgeous body.
Structure is crucial to clarity. As a rule of thumb, every paragraph should contain a unique point that contributes to your overall message.

3. Spell-check your work.
Your computer’s spell-check function doesn’t understand jargon, so it’s an excellent way of identifying industry-specific terms, as well as misspellings.

4. Honesty is the key.
Have you used ‘antediluvian’ instead of ‘old-fashioned’ because you think it makes you sound smarter? Not only do you risk alienating your customer, you might just run out of words. As CS Lewis said, “Don’t use words too big for the subject. Don’t say ‘infinitely’ when you mean ‘very’; otherwise you’ll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.” Save the posh words for the cryptic crossword.

As the American Plain English Foundation says: “Though no one knows the total cost of poor communication, the information we do have suggests it's high. While writing in plain language isn't easy, it pays off in positive results”.

So stop the rot: inoculate yourself against the spread of officialese before it costs you a customer!

Resources:
www.plainenglishfoundation.com
www.plainenglish.org
http://www.randomhouse.com.au/books/default.aspx?page=book&id=9781741669046