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Business Writing With Buzz

Is this the World's Most Attractive Headline?

Rosemary Gillespie - Sunday, May 10, 2009

“If You Love to Save Money Safely, Get [insert product name] – The Proven Health Discovery For Guaranteed Fast, Easy Results”

For marketing coypwriters and sales copywriters, this headline contains most of the top 10-12 most powerful selling words. There are a few missing – new, free, happiness – that could also be included. Interestingly, s_ _ doesn’t rate in the Top 12. Some people might argue about which words should be included in the Top 10-12, and in what order, but research shows there’s consistency about these words, and has been for almost 50 years.

If you write B2B sales or marketing copy, you can use these words in the right context to promote your products and services without being seen as pushy or insincere. 

This is the most powerful word. It personalises your writing, gives it immediacy, and makes it all about your reader. 

Instead of "We help businesses to work more productively," try "You'll get more done with our..."

This immediately conveys the benefit of your offering.

Instead of "Our services can help to save you money," try "Save money with our services in 5 easy ways..."

These give your writing urgency, and make your services sound very compelling. 

Instead of "Need a plumber?," try "Need a plumber, fast?"

Remind readers that interacting with you – or purchasing your product or service – is a piece of cake. Tell them how you can make their life simpler and more straightforward.

Instead of "Customer Relationship Management software from Acme," try "5 ways to  find new sales opportunities with Acme's CRM software."

Free /Complimentary
Regardless of what you are giving away, people love a bargain, and the word "free" is very powerful. Even if you’re just giving away a download, a report, or a subscription, it’s worth reminding your readers that they are receiving this service for nothing. For regular customers, the word "complimentary" can be a sophisticated way of communicating this benefit. For example:

Instead of "Sign up now for this workshop," try "Free workshop - sign up now!"

Everyone wants tangible results – so it’s important that your communication reminds them of this benefit of your product or service. For example:

Instead of "Find out how you can sell your products and services more effectively, even in the current economic climate," try "Find out how you can get impressive sales results, even in the current economic climate."

Remind readers how your product or service can help them cut their expenses, or increase their bottom line. For example:

Instead of "Manage your customers more effectively with this smart CRM software," try "Help your team to increase their sales with this smart CRM software."

By including a guarantee – or referencing it in your copy – you position your business as credible and reliable. For example:

Instead of "If you are not happy with this product, please give us a call on 123456," try "Your money back if you are not completely happy. Call us on 123456."

If you need more help with your headlines, give Rosemary a call on 02 9314 7506 or 0411 123 216.

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